I heart boobies

4 Weeks old

I just had to post a picture of my Boobie Beanie. Thanks from my co-workers at WIC

The little things.

I got an email from my sister, Shanlee today. In it she recalled a few moments of our childhood that have stuck out in her memory. Nothing big, just the little things. The little things that matter most.

Since Grace has been born I've had on my mind my gratitude for family, for life and for my opportunity to be a mother. I felt this way when I had Caleb too. There is something about a baby and being sleep deprived that makes me remember the blessing of family.

The first 2 weeks after I had Grace I had 5 friends give birth. 2 out of 5 of those babies have died. Again, it reminds me of the blessing of families, and the blessing it is that I have a healthy baby in my arms at this moment.

I want to cherish my moments with Grace and Caleb, but how? Remember the little things. Just as Uchtdorf said in his talk in October's General Conference,

"We shouldn’t wait to be happy until we reach some future point, only to discover that happiness was already available—all the time! Life is not meant to be appreciated only in retrospect. “This is the day which the Lord hath made … ,” the Psalmist wrote. “Rejoice and be glad in it."

Happiness is now. Life is now. We are making memories now.

Yesterday I walked into the living room after I had just finished making lunch and cleaning spit off my shirt to find Caleb on the couch, shirt up and tucked under his chin and nursing his baby Elmo. I want to remember that. He makes me happy.

And I'll remember how sleep deprived we've been with a new baby because we have to bounce Grace on the exercise ball for hours each day and late into the night to soothe her aching belly, later it'll something to smile about, but not right now.

I'll remember the frustration of attempted Family Home Evening lessons with a 2 year old boy as he jumps, squeals, and twirls during the lesson.

I'll remember the joy I feel each day as Paul comes home from school to spend the evening with his children and exhausted wife.

Shanlee reminded me in her email about my parents cuddling on the couch. They're in their late 50's. Gross that they still cuddle on the couch? Not at all. So sweet. When was the last time your kids saw you cuddling or showing affection to your spouse? I remember my parents going into our walk-in pantry and shutting the doors and kissing loudly for a minute or two before coming out to see our disgusted faces.

So I'm going to makes these moments matter most. I'll always remember the time we were getting Paul through school as a family, poor, often overwhelmed but so happy.

I highly recommend wathcing this video from the church website. It's one of Caleb's favorites.
Click on the link below and enjoy!
http://www.mormonchannel.org/video/mormon-messages?v=1101413031001

Feburary 14

Happy Valentine's Day!

Stuck in the middle

We've finally decided on a middle name.

Grace Shanlee Clark

In honor of my sister Shanlee who helped deliver Grace.

And thanks to my talented friend Heidi we have some newborn pictures of sweet Grace at 9 days old.

My sweet children, I'm so lucky.

 And of course we can't leave Caleb out of this. He's been a trooper during the hard transition of getting used to sharing his mom and dad. It's been hard for him. I love these pictures. They capture his personality perfectly. Crazy yet sweet, sometimes shy and always moving. We sure love that kid.

 As I look at these pictures that have captured my children's faces and I think back on the story of Grace's birth and Shanlee, my mom and Paul's support during it all I can't begin to explain my gratitude and awe of it all. I sit here and type as I hold little Grace in my arms. I love to look at every detail in her face as she sleeps. What an angel. Words cannot describe the love a parent can have for a child, I never thought it possible until I experienced it myself.

Today Paul was talking about our family and said, "...our kids..." then he paused and said, "whoa that sounds weird to say. We have two kids now, I have to say KIDS now." Haha yes Paul we have two children now and have for 2 1/2 weeks.

Grace's story

Grace Clark had a graceful entrance into this world. On January 26, 2013 Grace was born at 11:00pm within the walls of our home and into the arms of her loving family.

I began having contractions Saturday afternoon but wasn't sure if it was real labor. Of course being 2 days past my due date it seems I could've guess it was REAL labor, but I didn't want to get myself, Paul, Grandma and Aunt Shanlee too excited if it wasn't really happening. So I kept the contractions to myself until about 5:00 when they seemed to be more intense and consistent. We had friends coming over for dinner at 5:30 and I debated weather to cancel but decided not too. With friends over it would distract us all from just staring at me having contractions. By the time our friends left at 8:00 contractions were painful and hard to talk through. It was time to "get in the zone" and start focusing through these with the help of my supporters. We gave a phone call to Beth (my midwife) to give her a heads-up I was in labor and she said she'd wait for another call when I was ready to go to the Birth Center.

Paul got our final things packed and took Caleb to the sitters as Shanlee rubbed my back and timed contractions. I was doing great and once the contraction was over I could pick right back up in the conversation. I took a nice long shower where contractions started to pick up again. Once I was dressed in my ghastly nightgown I got to labor in I laid on the couch to focus through contractions...I didn't move from that position until well after Grace was born.

For about 2 hours Paul rubbed my back and talked my through contractions. I felt we really worked well together this time around. He helped me remember to relax between contractions and focus on breathing. His hands got tired and he tagged Shanlee and my mom to come rub my back. It was then that contractions got rough. My body began shaking uncontrollably. I remembered this happening with Caleb and I was only dialated to 5cm. So I didn't want to let myself think I was furthur along that I really was. Mom kept saying, "I think we need to call Beth. These contractions are getting really intense for her." I didn't think I was that far in labor, but I did know I couldn't have done labor like that much longer. I finally agreed they could call her. Paul gave Beth a call and they agreed it would be best for Beth to come to our house to check my dilation before going to the Birth Center. Beth lives only about 5 minutes away from our home...and she didn't make it to the birth.

Within minutes I went from hard contractions to really hard contractions and then the need to push. I suddenly had 2 contractions right on top of each other and felt Grace drop into the birth canal. I told everyone, "I need to push!"
"No! Beth isn't here yet! Don't push Amelia, you've got to wait. Pant. Pant." my mom said.

I tried to pant but the urge to push was too much, I couldn't stop it. Grace was crowning and someone was going to have to help me deliver her. My mom jumped onto the couch but realized she need to wash her hands before delivering a baby so ran to the kitchen. Shanlee then stepped up to the plate just in time to catch Grace's head coming out. I heard a small gasp for breath and saw my sweet baby's face for the first time. One more push and she was out and in my arms.

Shanlee was a champ. It was no coincidence that Shanlee was the one to catch Grace and help me bring her into this world. I believe they will always have a special bond. She'd remember from 13 years prior a class she'd taken in preparation to see my mom give birth to our youngest brother that once the head of the baby is out you then rotate the baby every so slightly to help ease the shoulders and body out. Great job Shanlee!

Beth arrived less than 2 minutes after Grace was born and finished the job. Thank goodness we didn't get in the car to go to the birth center. I would have had a baby in the car and in the freezing cold, single digit weather of New Hampshire.

Grace was 7lbs. 2oz. and 19 1/2 inches long. Much smaller than Caleb. She is perfect. This birth experience was unexpected and wonderful. I am so thankful for the health and ability of both our bodies in this beautiful process of birth. What a blessing it is to have a new fresh infant in our family. Giving birth to a baby is the most precious experiences I've had. In the moments of most pain is also the most joy and euphoria you could have. I believe at birth the veil thins ever so slightly and angels guide us through as we bring one of God's angels into this world. That's what Grace is-an angel.