Keep growing

My dang kids, they keep growing. I love having little kids, they make my heart happy. But they're growing. I strive to be like my friend Emily Roberts (I serve with her in the Stake Young Women's presidency). She's a mother of 8 and her youngest is 4 years old. She's going grey, just entered her 40's and loves life. She takes life as it comes, she's confident, she's ok with her post-8-babies imperfect body, her grey hair and has no hesitation telling people she's 42. What I love about her is that she is accepting of herself. She obviously loves having babies and a part of her misses that stage but she cheerful about this next stage of life, she excited to be raising teenagers (which I am afraid of). I have a goal to be more like Emily.

I want to enjoy the NOW and look forward to the future instead of being sad about missing the past. NOW.


The time is NOW.


I'm going to love the stage of 6 year old Caleb instead of being sad I don't have 3 year old Caleb. I'm going to look at Grace and love her independence instead of wanting baby Grace. I'm going to enjoy chasing down Jameson instead of wishing he was stationary and an immobile baby. And I'm going to be more cheerful about getting up to nurse my little Londyn in the middle of the night even though I think she's too old for 3am feedings.


I often think about when my kids will go on missions, off to college and find spouses of their own. I honestly get choked up just thinking about it. I want them here forever, with me. It must be how God feels. He wants us with Him, so badly.

Now. Enjoy now. It'll be gone soon and I want to remember, but to remember it I have to be present in it.

technical difficulties

blog is up and running again. I've spent hours trying to figure out how to get signed into this dang thing again. My motivation came from looking at old pictures and realizing how little I remember. Time for some journaling. Stay tuned...but for now my littles have woken up from naps and are raiding their Halloween candy...

First Child Pride

We tend to have sentimental feelings for all "firsts" in our lives. I'm having those feelings now, while Caleb learns to read. My kids lives are growing so fast. I think I still treat Caleb like he's 2, sometimes because he acts it. In any way he is growing and I didn't think he'd respond to reading so well.

When I watch his face after he reads a word it's a priceless moment.

I'm also thankful that I get to be a part of his learning like this. Today, I feel a sincere testimony that homeschooling is right for our family.

Fake Family Pictures

Oh family pictures. Doesn't that just make you cringe? I remember them as a kid...stress, yelling, tears, "I don't WANT to WEAR THAT!!!, fake smiles. I especially remember my youngest brother, Tanner, smiling like such a goof. The photographer kept saying, "just smile like your laughting" he couldn't do it. Finally we were all so sick of his "fake smile" almost like we had planned it at the same time all 7 of his "parents" said, "Tanner stop it!" It made him feel so bad he cried. Then the rest of the pictures he was doing his best to smile through his red tear-stained face. Poor kid.

Now I'm the mom telling everyone they HAVE to wear what I pick. And although I was expecting a fit from Caleb who refuses to ever wear a shirt with buttons, the fit was from Paul, upset he had to wear a shirt that was slightly too small. And then there was Grace. Turning her back to the camera at every chance only because I told her to LOOK at the camera. And Jameson just wanted to drool, and pull my at my scarf. I bribed 'till I was blue in the face. Then I'm out of breath trying to get everyone to just look at the camera and stand still for ONE second that I can hardly smile or worry about my hair in the right place, or remember to suck in my post-partum stomach....taking pictures with kids is hard, but I need these pictures to remind me what my kids look like without chocolate covered faces, clean clothes and their hair combed. :)


Next time, we are doing candid pictures in the mud with white t-shirts. No joke.

Flirty and Married

I'm not so sure anyone reads this anymore but at any rate I'll post for my own journalism purposes.

Yesterday I came in from the garage after getting honked at. Caleb was sitting at the floor and we had this conversation:
Caleb- "Mom did someone honk?"
Me- "yeah, some handsome guy just honked at me. He thought I was pretty." I said this with a big smile on my face and some flirty body language. (FYI, it was Paul)
Caleb- with a smile on his face, "Was it the police?"
Me- "No, I don't know who it was. But the guy thought I was pretty so he honked. Isn't that fun?"
Caleb- no longer smiling. "Mom, I don't think that's ok."
Me- "Why not?"
Caleb- "Because you're married. He probably didn't know you were already married."
Me- "Probably not. What should I do?"
Caleb- "You should tell him your married to dad already."

I then told Caleb the REALLY handsome man that honked was his Dad. He was relieved and told me it was okay then.

We're Back!...

We're back...

Everyday

I've attempted to update our blog many times but for some reason I can't upload pictures, and a blog post without pictures is only half as fun. But a quick rundown: we've moved to Texas, visited Utah and had a blast, came back to Texas, and had a baby. Ok, now your up to date.


Our little Jameson Porter joined us last week on July 31. He made a grand entrance before the doctor could make it in the room to help, I think he was trying to beat Grace's entrance...sibling competition already. Now as I hold him in my arms I am in wonder at what a miracle birth, babies, and families are. Each time I have a baby I am reminded of my deep gratitude for life, children and most of all motherhood. It seems I'm going to burst at the seems with emotions of gratitude to be this baby's mother for eternity. I remember when I had Caleb and Paul told me he loved me, I burst into tears because of the love I felt for him and our new baby boy. For the following days Paul had to be careful about his affection towards me, it just made me cry to think about all our love. It was similar with Grace, and again with Jameson (yes hormones are playing a part in this, I realize). Life is a gift, motherhood is a gift and I'm filled with gratitude for my Heavenly Father and these gifts he's given me.


I'm also in awe of the love from our more extended family, mainly my sisters. Aren't sisters the absolute best!? I hope that Grace will get a sister one day. I believe that everybody needs a sister, not everyone needs a brother, but a sister for sure. I'm lucky enough to have 3. And in the absence of my mom during this time, my sisters jumped in to help and I couldn't be more grateful. I feel very handicapped and incapable of handling 3 children, recover, and keep life going for the family. But with the help of my sisters I know it'll be more possible in the weeks to come. Thanks to Shanlee, here for these first 2 weeks, I've gotten my daily naps in, been fed and my kids are entertained. Despite Shanlee's busy schedule for school and hours of homework she found the time to come to Texas to help ME. And despite Miranda's busy schedule with 4 kids just starting school and extra-curricular activities she is coming to help after Shanlee. And her husband for sacrificing his wife and frequent flyer miles to get her here. What a blessing they are!